Becoming A Mysterious Person
Mysterious: To be mysterious is to keep the details of your life an unknown to anyone outside of your closest circle. Discretion is the action that creates an expression of mystery.
What exactly does it mean to be Mysterious?
If you want people to be interested in you, there are basically two fool proof ways. And if you combine the two people will find you magnetic. The first is to actually be interesting, and all you have to do to do this, is live your life. Do the things you really want to do. Embrace the world around you. Dive into it. Meet people, and have fun. The second is to be mysterious.
Being mysterious isn’t about being fake or inauthentic. It’s mostly about being quiet. Not bragging or boasting, not complaining or judging. It’s about keeping the majority of your thoughts in your head, and only speaking when relevant. Only telling people the things you want them to know, and except for the people closest to you, you shouldn’t want them to know a lot.
Some people prefer candidness, and drama, and excitement over retaining an air of mystery. And that is perfectly okay. Mystery is not an essential character trait. But developing at least a little bit of it, can add value to your life.
If you keep your problems to yourself, for example, they’re less likely to get you in trouble.
If you keep all your hard work and efforts to yourself, when people see your massive successes, they’ll think you’re downright magical. And who doesn’t want to be perceived as magical?
When people look at you, and they see all your good character traits, and all your success in life, but they have no idea how you got there… then they’re opinions of you will skyrocket. You will be perceived as Put-Together, Intelligent, Kind, Powerful. And when people perceive you that way, all kinds of doors will suddenly be open to you.
“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.”
How kind are you currently?
Rate each statement 1-5. 1 being you do not agree at all. 5 being you completely agree:
1. I rarely if ever post about my life on social media
2. People always wonder what I’m thinking
3. I rarely complain, or worry out loud
4. I am confident in who I am.
5. I listen more than I speak.
Add your scores together for your total score:
Score 0-10: You wear your heart on your sleeves. You think a thought, you say it. You like to show the world exactly who you are.
Score 11-19: You keep some things to yourself…. but you’re far from secretive. People can generally find out the things they want about y ou without much effort.
Score 20-25: You are a mystery. You keep the details of your life to yourself. You don’t like to share except with those closest to you.
I scored a 17 on this. I would prefer to be more mysterious… but when I get anxious or excited my filters tend to kind of disappear. If I’m anxious it comes out as complaining and worrying. If I’m excited I pretty much spastically spout whatever pops into my head. It’s a little neurotic.
But, I’ve been meditating daily, and slowly but surely learning to get my emotions in check. I think I’ll be up to a 20 soon.
“A person who is discrete in speaking will be useful during the good times, and will avoid punishment during the bad”
Becoming Mysterious Can Add Value to Your Life By:
1. Making You More Attractive
People are naturally attracted to mysteries. They want to learn the secrets to your success and/or unravel the mysteries of your despair. The less you say, the more people you want to know. The less you complain, the more confident you’ll seem, and confidence also attracts people.
2. Protecting You From Certain Harms.
I fully believe that most people are good…. But… If you happen to run into one of the ones who aren’t. If they have no information on you, they have nothing they can use against you.
Too Much of a Good Thing: If you put too much effort into being mysterious, you will forget to be honest and vulnerable with the people you should. It’s important to let people in. You can use an air of mystery as a solid wall between you and the world. But in your own smaller world, you have to let some people in or you will be extremely lonely.
“Discretion is the perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life”
The Simple Step-by-Step Process to Becoming Mysterious.
1. Shift the Focus to Others in Conversations
The more you talk about them, the less you’ll talk about you. So, get curious about the people and the world around you.
2. Get Your Emotions Under Control.
You can’t do this by ignoring them. Embrace them. Feel Them. Journal Through Them. Meditate on Them. Let Them Go.
3. Don’t Explain Yourself.
Sometimes it’s necessary, but most of the time it’s not. In fact, I’d say it’s almost always not. Over-explaining yourself makes you come across as anxious and uncertain. It gives away way too much.
Tips and Tricks::
Be extremely curious. The more effort you put into learning and observing the people and the world around you, the less likely you are to give away too much about yourself.
Challenge::
The next time you have a conversation someone. Avoid speaking about yourself at all. If the person asks questions about you, subtly switch the focus back to them. A simple way to do this is to say something along the lines of “Well, What about you?”… and then follow it up with something more specific and in line with their question so they forget they asked you first.
“Great ability without discretion comes almost invariably to a tragic end.”
Related Character Skills:
Confident
