Becoming A Kind Person
Kind: To be kind is to regularly speak and act in a way that is friendly and considerate, while actively avoiding speaking or acting rashly in response to negative interactions or emotions.
What exactly does it mean to be Kind?
Being kind is treating others the way you wish to be treated. It is creating the world you want by living the way you wish others would live. It is spreading light and goodness and warmth.
Being kind is knowing when to bite your tongue. It is constantly evaluating your speech before it leaves your mouth to ensure that your message is presented in a way that you would want to hear it.
Being kind is practicing patience and empathy. It’s learning to soothe your own frustrations internally before they spill out onto others. It’s avoiding spreading misery and hate.
“Do things for people. Not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are.”
How kind are you currently?
Rate each statement 1-5. 1 being you do not agree at all. 5 being you completely agree:
1. People regularly refer to me as someone who is kind.
2. I’m good at self-soothing.
3. I consider myself empathetic.
4. I treat others the way I want to be treated.
5. I listen more than I speak.
Add your scores together for your total score:
Score 0-10: You might be a little too caught up in your own stuff to remember to be kind. It’s a skill that easily slips through your fingers when you don’t put regular thought into it.
Score 11-19: You exhibit an average amount of kindness. People probably consider you a good person, but you definitely also have your moments where you aren’t so kind. Plenty of room to improve.
Score 20-25: You are a genuinely kind person. Thank you for being you. you make the world a better place.
I am embarrassed to admit I only score a 10 on this currently. I have all these ideas to be kind, but I haven’t actually been practicing kindness in my day to day and I didn’t even realize it until I started working on this article.
Kindness is a high-value character skill to me. I want to be someone who is kind. In my daily affirmations I tell myself I’m kind. My actions haven’t been matching my speech though. I’m angry, and irritable, and bitter, and I hate it. I’m not going to be that person anymore.
I’m going to become kind. I’m going to make kindness a priority starting right this moment. Starting today. I’m going to do the Challenge below tomorrow…. and challenge myself in other ways as well. I will breathe through frustrations, think before I speak, and only speak in kindness from here on out. I’ll get a little bit better every day, and soon my affirmation, I am kind, will be my reality.
“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.”
Becoming Kind Can Add Value to Your Life By:
(Kindness is not the same as selflessness. There is overlap, but you can find self value in it too. In fact you can practice kindness by being kind to yourself.)
1. Build Healthier Relationships
Like attracts like. The kinder you are, the more kind people you’ll find around you. Also, when it comes to the people already in your life; for the average person, not the psychopath, if anger and frustration are met with kindness they tend to fizzle out. Less fighting generally results in happier relationships.
2. Create Joy
When someone does something kind for you, I’m sure it makes you feel good. I’m also sure if you think back to the last time you did something kind for someone else it also made you feel good. All those good feelings build up into the beauty that is true joy.
3. Lessen Frustrations
Think of it like Schrodinger’s cat. If you don’t open the box…. is the frustration really even there? When you feel frustrated, act kind. It’s like shutting the lid on the box of negative emotions that popped up. Maybe they’re just trapped in there and you’ll have to deal with them later. Or maybe when you open up the box later, because emotions should never be ignored, you’ll find they’ve already dissipated into nothing.
Too Much of a Good Thing: Sometimes you have to speak up for yourself, and there is not always a kind way to do it (There almost always is! This is an exception to the rule, not the rule. Look harder for kindness first). Setting firm boundaries are important and if you put too much effort into being kind there is a possibility you will neglect your boundaries.
“To be kind is more important than to be right. Many times, what people need is not a brilliant mind that speaks, but a special heart that listens.”
The Simple Step-by-Step Process to Becoming Kinder
1. Speak Less
People who aren’t kind, tent to run their mouths constantly. The first step to becoming kind is to kindly shut up. Think before you speak. If it isn’t something you would want to hear, don’t say it.
2. Listen More
Random acts of kindness are good, but if you really want to be kind you must practice listening and observing. If you pay close enough attention you can figure out which words and actions would add a greater value to someone’s life.
3. Treat Others How You Wish To Be Treated
Don’t treat others the way they treat you. Treat them the way you wish they would treat you. If you don’t know specifically what words or actions someone else would consider kind. Say and do the things you would consider kind.
Tips and Tricks::
1. Add a compliment to every conversation
If you think and listen and look hard enough, you can find something nice to say about almost everyone. Not only will this practice make you a kinder person, but it will help you practice finding the good in the world.
2. Keep a kindness log
Keep track of everytime you speak or act in kindness. Make it like a game and see if you can beat your score every day.
Challenge::
Go one whole day without speaking, unless spoken to. Ensure every response you give, is one you’d want to hear.
“Kindness is the light that dissolves all walls between souls, families, and nations.”
Learn More about Becoming Kind:
Read You Are More Than You Think You Are by Kimberly Snyder - review
Related Character Skills:
Observant
Selfless
